UNDERSTANDING THE UNDERLYING CAUSES
Hello my lovey!
After the last few years, we need not discuss that life can be unpredictable and chaotic at times. ~Ahem~
When life unleashes its sh!t storm du jour, living gets jacked. You roil in feelings of instability, unpredictability, and confusion. But what is the origin of this chaos? What causes these feelings?
This is my wheelhouse, love.
Let’s scope some common individual origins of chaos as well as how they lend traction to feeling unstable and out of balance.
You’re up, Ye Olde Traumatic Experiences of Yore
Traumatic experiences impact your life and it’s not always obvious how they show up.
What flavor of
trauma
we rock depends
on our history.
Could be classic physical/emotional/sexual abuse, natural disasters (hey, Katrina, ha u durn), or any other traumatic event.
These experiences up the feelings of chaos and unpredictability. Our feelings of danger do not distinguish between angry yelling, floods, someone picking you apart, or someone choking you.
When that crappollini rolls, bid farewell to your sense of safety and security.
Aah yes, then here comes our familiar trio of anxiety, fear, and panic. Just for added impact, we can get thrown into these feelings when triggered by certain sights, sounds, or situations that are reminiscent of the traumatic experience.
Joining us now,
Mental Illness: Anxiety, Depression, and Bipolar Disorder
Mental health pals anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder can also result in chaotic thinking and behavior. These conditions can intensify the feels as well as mood flux, next up: unpredictable behavior and difficulty managing daily life. Anxiety and depression’s faithful companions of hopelessness, helplessness, and overwhelm waft about like the smell of a coworkers microwaved fish lunch, while bipolar disorder slays extreme mood swings and impulsive behavior (like the X games but the competition is what can most disrupt you on the daily).
Let’s not forget Substance Abuse and its fave sidekick, Impaired Judgment. Substance abuse and addiction notch up the chaos.
When those twins roll around, it’s Sayonara, Judgment, it was nice knowing ya. Which leads to (yep, you guessed it) chaotic and unpredictable behavior.
Substance abuse, and there are myriad flavors of it, can disrupt your life with dollahz difficulties, relationship shiitake, and legal issues.
Abusing alcohol, drugs (whatev, really) tears up your physical and mental health and then you are in a quagmire of confusion and instability.
Some of the physical effects are not immediately apparent so self deception isn’t even all that tough.
In related news, g’head and drink some water.
Speaking of Toxins…
Let’s bring on the ’Ships: Toxic Partners, Friends, and Family Members
Oh, toxic relationships, how well I know thee…and how they amp up chaos and unpredictability in your life (as in Spinal Tap’s ‘Crank it up to eleven’). Garbage relationships get all the negs on– anxiety, dread, and frustration, which to the surprise of no one, get you acting erratically and on the struggle bus of managing daily life.
As alluring as the old familiar patterns feel, they drive you right to the intersection of emotional turmoil, uncertainty, and instability. The comfort of familiar relationship patterns won’t heal themselves. You have to choose a kabillion times a day not to fall back into that chasm of familiar hurts.
And when ya think it couldn’t get worse, here come those nefarious twins:
Job Loss and/or Financial Insecurity
Unexpected (or anticipated, for that matter) job loss or financial difficulties are quite the expert stressors.
With that pair of jackals, not only do you have the same crappollini as the day before, now you get to rock the stress of buying food and housing yourself.
Adios, sense of self and stability.
Job loss and resulting financial insecurity lure in hopelessness, helplessness, and overwhelm. This icing on the cake of woe exacerbates the stresses and further decimate managing daily life.
When you rock high stress for prolonged periods
(looking at you, ‘Rona),
that secret sauce of chaos, Burnout, looms. The effects are right in line with those of financial f*ckery: you got your hopelessness, helplessness, and overwhelm, leading to, you guessed it, unpredictable, erratic behavior and ratchet probs managing daily life.
Chronic stress also impacts physical and mental health–cue confusion and even more instability.
Life Transitions:
Moving, Starting a New Job, or Loss of a Loved One
When you experience major life changes (moving, starting a new job, losing loved ones, for example), your world changes. Our minds evolved to see change as no bueno and tries to keep us in the status quo.
Big changes are gonna happen and you get to feel the resulting anxiety, added stress, and don’t forget being mystified about how you’re going to manage this different life.
Even though Chaos has numerous origin stories, all of which roll out uncertainty and unpredictability, we do have tools to mitigate that mofo.
These times are when ya get support, take care of your sleep/nutrition/movement, and suss out a new routine so you can stabilize yourself and adapt to the new change.
Whether Chaos arises out of trauma, mental illness, substance abuse, difficult relationships, job loss, financial insecurity, chronic stress, of big life changes, remember you have a 100% successful track record of living through such suckery.
Damn, you are one badass!
Hugzzz,
Mel
